Confidence & presence

How to get over the fear of public speaking (what actually works)

By Matt Young · about a 7-minute read

For most professionals, the fear of public speaking doesn't show up on a stage. It shows up in the client pitch, the board update, the all-hands where you have to say something smart on no notice. The dry mouth, the racing heart, the voice that goes thin - it's the tax you pay for being watched while it matters.

Here's the good news, and it's good: the fear is near-universal, and it's one of the most trainable things about you. Most people - as many as three in four - report some fear of public speaking. You are not unusually broken. And the route out isn't what most advice suggests.

Why it happens (and why willpower doesn't fix it)

Speaking to a group trips an old alarm. For most of human history, being scrutinised by the group was dangerous, so your body still treats "all eyes on me" as a threat and floods you with adrenaline. That part is automatic. You can't argue your heart rate down.

What makes it worse is what happens next. Under pressure, we start watching ourselves - monitoring our own voice, hands, and words in real time. Psychologist Sian Beilock's research on "choking" shows exactly why that backfires: consciously monitoring a skill that should run automatically disrupts it, and the worry itself eats up the working memory you need to think clearly. So the more you focus on you - how you're coming across, whether you're blushing - the worse you get. The fear becomes self-fulfilling.

Why the usual advice underperforms

"Just practise more." "Memorise it." "Picture them in their underwear." The first two often make it worse, because memorising a script raises the stakes (now there's a right version to fail at) and pulls your attention inward, onto retrieval, exactly where you don't want it. The third is a gimmick. The real problem was never your content. It's your relationship to being watched.

What actually works

Four things have real evidence behind them, and they reinforce each other.

1. Get reps in low-stakes rooms

Fear shrinks with exposure. Not one terrifying keynote, but many small, survivable goes - speaking up in a friendly group, telling a story, being slightly on the spot when nothing is riding on it. Each rep teaches your nervous system that being watched isn't fatal. This is the single most reliable route, and it's why practice environments matter more than practice hours.

2. Point your attention outward

The most powerful in-the-moment shift is to get your attention off yourself and onto something external: the person you're talking to, the point you're making, the reaction in the room. This is the direct antidote to the self-monitoring that makes you choke. A speaker thinking "am I doing okay?" is stuck inside their own head; a speaker watching their audience is free. Improvisers train this constantly - your job on stage is to watch your partner, not yourself.

3. Reframe the nerves as excitement

Trying to "calm down" fights your own physiology and usually loses. Harvard research by Alison Wood Brooks found a simple reappraisal works better: people who told themselves "I am excited" before speaking performed better and felt more confident than those who tried to relax. The bodily state of anxiety and excitement is almost identical - same racing heart, same buzz. You get to choose the label, and the label changes the performance.

4. Practise not knowing what comes next

A huge part of speaking fear is really fear of the unplanned: the curveball question, the joke that lands flat, the moment your mind goes blank. Improv is, at its core, structured practice at being comfortable when you don't know what's coming - responding to what's actually in front of you instead of clinging to a script. Studies of improv training have measured reduced social anxiety and greater tolerance of uncertainty in adults. That tolerance is exactly what carries you through the Q&A.

Five things to try before your next talk

A note on the hard end of this. If your fear of speaking tips into panic attacks, or you're reshaping your job and life to avoid it entirely, that's worth proper support from a psychologist - and there's no shame in it. This article is about building skill and confidence, not treating a clinical anxiety condition.

If it's not just you

Often the person who can't shake speaking nerves sits in a team full of them - people who go quiet in meetings, hedge in front of clients, or let the same two voices dominate every discussion. You can send everyone on a presentation-skills course and hope it sticks. Or you can build the underlying thing directly: a group that's comfortable speaking up, thinking on its feet, and backing each other's ideas.

That's what my workshops do. They're built on the research above - psychological safety, external focus, reframing pressure, comfort with the unknown - and they're actually fun, which (as the science shows) is the delivery mechanism, not the distraction. Teams leave more willing to speak, pitch, and present - together.

Want your team speaking with confidence?

A workshop builds presence and psychological safety across the whole group, faster than sending everyone on a course. Free 30-minute discovery call to talk through what your team needs.

Book a discovery call

Common questions

Is it normal to be afraid of public speaking?

Yes - it's one of the most common fears there is, reported by as many as three in four people. The nerves are your body preparing you, not a fault.

Can you actually get over it?

You can substantially reduce it and learn to channel it. Reps in low-stakes rooms, pointing your attention outward, and reframing the nerves as excitement are the levers that work.

Does improv help with public speaking?

Yes. It trains presence, responding in the moment, and being okay not knowing what's next - the exact skills a live talk or a Q&A demands - and improv training has measurably reduced social anxiety in studies.

How long does it take?

It's about reps, not the calendar. A few sessions of deliberate, low-stakes practice usually shift things noticeably. The fear rarely disappears completely; it just stops running the show.

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